Monday, December 29, 2014

Reflecting on 2014.....

Blogging used to be something I really liked to do. Then life got in the way, I became way too busy, and suddenly blogging was no longer a priority.

And I honestly don't miss it as much I thought I would. I'm not planning on picking this up regularly like I used to either. I no longer feel the need to write about what I did last week or what kind of books I'm currently reading. But as 2014 is rapidly coming to a close, I've had too many thoughts that I just needed to write down somewhere.

2014 was an interesting year. I changed this year. Like, a lot. I'm not the same person I was at the beginning of 2014.

Sure, certain aspects of my personality remain the same and my faith/beliefs haven't changed much over the year, but the direction of my life has changed.

I started out this year with a lot of unanswered questions. There were a lot of things that I would "cross that bridge when I got there." In other words, I didn't have a lot of things figured out, but I assumed that I would deal with them later.

And now it's the end of 2014, and I've never been more happy or sure of my life before. I came into this year feeling like I was in the middle of a busy train station with a very vague idea of where I wanted to go but no idea how to get there. And now I feel as though I am on the right train, full speed ahead. The pieces of my life have really started falling into place this year, and that's why this has been such a year of change.

One of the biggest things that has changed for me during 2014 has been my attitude towards change. I used to hate change. I put up a fit when my family decided to go to a difference mass time on Christmas Eve a few years ago ;) I kind of hated graduating high school and having to say goodbye to that period of my life.

And although I still would not say I have totally mastered accepting change, I'm gotten way better at it.

I changed my major this year. I started off in finance, but was never passionate about it. I don't really care about annuities and perpetuities or the stock market. I switched to Operations Management and have found that I actually enjoy it. I took my first OM class this past semester and was so relieved that I found the class extremely interesting and that the material came naturally to me. Do I know exactly what I want to do with OM yet? Nope. But I can feel that I'm in the right major, and that's one of the best feelings ever.

It's also funny how quickly your mind can completely change its outlook on certain things.

When I started college, I wasn't totally set on my major. I didn't know what organizations I wanted to be involved in. I wasn't sure which study abroad options I wanted to do. But the one thing I was sure of? I would be living at home all 4 years of college.

I laughed at the idea of "the college experience". My high school friends would talk about finding roommates and buying things for their room. I would see pictures of them moving into the dorms, and I was never felt even a teeny bit jealous. I never wanted that - any of that. I live close to campus, so why on earth would I need to pay a bunch of money to live on campus or within walking distance?

I joined a sorority with a 1 year live-in requirement. But being the numbers person I am, I knew that there would be more girls in my pledge class alone that spots in the house, so I assumed that there would be a way (if the house filled up on its own) that I would not have to live there. It was one of those things that I figured I would deal with later, but that I might be able to get by without actually living in the house.

And now I'm moving on campus into the Kappa Delta house in less than 2 weeks. As I'm writing this, I am actually laughing at myself and how I've done a complete 180 degree turn.

I can't pinpoint a moment when my mind changed either. I guess it was kind of a gradual thing. It started at the beginning of the semester when we had our Spirit Week, and I had to be up on campus every day preparing for recruitment. Then we actually had recruitment, and I felt like I lived at the house anyway with the amount of time I had to spend there.

I was Assistant VP-Finance and was over at the house helping with things for that. I got a lot closer to girls who lived in the house. I spent time there crafting for my little. And then going home every night became inconvenient. I would be at the KD house until 11 or 12 at night, and I hated the fact that I had to drive home just to go to sleep, wake up, and drive back to campus early the next morning.

Over the course of the semester, I got more and more involved in Kappa Delta, which meant I was spending more and more time there. Fairly early in the semester, I made up my mind that I would be running for VP-Finance. I was already the assistant and felt like this was going to be my way of taking on a large leadership role in chapter. Council members are elected at the end of fall semester for the following calendar year and are required to live in the house for the following school year. However, I decided that if I would be elected as VP-Finance, I would want to live in the house starting in January.

I knew that being on council requires an even greater time commitment to Kappa Delta, and I was already at the point where I was tired of driving home every night just to sleep. So I emailed the woman in charge of housing and was told that I would be on a waiting list if a spot opened up. For weeks, I was nervous that I would end up not getting in.

There was one week where I spent the night at the house 3 nights in a row, and I remember driving home thinking how much I wished I could just live there already. It was so weird because a few months before that, I had never wanted to live anywhere but at my house.

The day I got an email saying that a spot had opened up for me was one of the weirdest days. I was so happy, but it was still strange to me that it was something I wanted so badly.

Now don't get me wrong, living at home and commuting was freshman year. I do not regret it AT ALL. In fact, if I had to do my freshman year of college all over again, I wouldn't change a thing. But this year has just been different because I was always at school anyway. Fifteen hour school days were not uncommon - they probably happened at least twice a week or more towards the end of the semester. I felt like I never even saw my family anyway because I would often come home after they had gone to bed.

And I did end up becoming VP-Finance. Which even that is something I laugh about because I never used to see myself as a leader, and now I'm in charge of the finances for an organization of 130 women that pay substantial dues every semester ;)

So in 2014 I changed my major, took on a major leadership role in Kappa Delta, and made the decision to move out of my house for the first time.

But it wasn't all just big changes - I also traveled to Charleston, Montreal. Alaska, Georgia, and New York City.

I made a lot of real friends. The type of friends who you always lose track of time when you're together, who you can laugh with over movies, but who will also really listen when you have a problem.

This year was truly great.

But I'm more excited for 2015 than I ever have about any other year. 2015 is going to involve some pretty big changes as well and it will be a very different year, but I am so ready it hurts.

2015.....I can't wait to see what you have in store......