Real Life {Change}

Sometimes my favorite blog posts to read are the "real" posts. The posts where the blogger writes from their heart about real things they are going through. Sometimes I feel like this blog makes my life seem a lot more fun than it really is. I guess I do tend to blog about the fun times simply because that is (generally) more exciting to read, and those memories are the things I want to remember in the future!

But sometimes I feel like I just need to take a step back and write about what's been on my mind lately. Sometimes I think it's nice to read more than just someone's memorable moments.

So that's what I'm going to do: write a post about something I've been struggling with lately. Hopefully someone can relate, or maybe it will just make me feel better getting it out there! So, here it is.....a not so perfect post from my heart:

The picture above is quite possibly one of my favorite pictures. I know I've posted it before, but 3 years ago I had the best group of friends. We did everything together. I remember organizing Friday night trips to the movies or out to dinner, and I would get annoyed because so many people were coming and it was hard to find enough parents willing to drive. Oh, the dilemmas of grade school :)

But anyway, I did things all the time with my friends. From going to the movies, shopping at the mall, going out to dinner, or hanging at someone's house. I was always busy with my friends.

Then we went to high school, and our group of 11 dropped down to a group of 9.

Freshman year was still loads of fun. I remember that we all had the same lunch and we all still sat together at lunch every day.

My group of friends fluctuated a little bit, but for the most part we all still stayed pretty tight.

During Sophomore year, things started changing. Some of us started to break apart, and I hung out with a different group of girls evey now and then. But then towards the end of the school year, I felt us coming back together again. Although my group of friends had lost a few girls, we did a lot of fun stuff over the summer! There were times we all got together again too.

When we started this year, I felt like changes were coming. Suddenly we didn't all have the same lunch together anymore. As time went on, I felt us all kind of growing apart a little bit. We stopped doing things all together anymore.

In November we tried getting our original group (from the top picture) all together again. I was SO looking forward to it, and it was fun. But it made me a little sad because not everyone could make it. And as we were talking, I realized how much we had all grown apart since grade school.

And since then I've felt the effects of us growing apart even more, and it makes me super sad!

I can remember a time when I would send out a text asking if anyone wanted to do something, and I would get 10 responses all saying yes. Now I send out a text and I seriously get 0 "yes" responses. I mean, there have been multiple times where I ask if anyone wants to see a movie or go out to dinner or come over my house, and I get.....nothing.

I'm not really sure what the heck happened over the last few months, but it's making me sad! When my friends talk about things nowadays, half the time I have no idea who/what they're talking about.

I don't want this post to make me seem like an annoying person who just sits around and complains about not doing anything on the weekends, but I just wanted to share what's been on my heart lately. And I don't want this post to seem like I don't like my friends or that I'm angry at them, because that's not the way I feel at all! I'm mainly sad.

I'm sad that my friends, who used to do everything together, can't seem to hang out at all anymore on the weekends. I'm sad that my friends plan things on the weekends now and don't invite everyone anymore. I'm simply sad that we've grown apart, and I'm afraid that we are going to grow apart even more.

I guess I'll just have to trust that everything will work out in the end, and that God's got a greater plan for me! Sometimes that's easier said then done though! I guess I just hope that I figure everything out soon.

"I have learned that faith means trusting in advance what will only make sense in reverse."