Thursday, May 30, 2013

May 30, 2013

Four years ago I attended my cousin's high school graduation. I hardly knew any of the staff members, and I remember the girls looking so old and grown up to me.

But tonight, it's my turn.

I get to walk down the long church aisle a high school senior and walk out of the doors a high school graduate. I know all of those teachers and staff members now, and the girls I'm graduating with really do look grown up now, but then again, I guess we are technically adults :)

When I got my planner last summer, I filled in all of the important dates for the school year, and I remember thinking how weird it was to pencil in graduation for May 30, 2013. It seemed so far away at the time.

But now it's here.

I would be lying if I said that I wasn't sad, because I really am. The friends, classmates, and teachers I have come to know and love over the past 4 years have had such a positive impact on my life that it kind of seems wrong to leave them behind.

At the same time though, I know I can't stay, and I absolutely don't want to stay in high school the rest of my life. I know there are amazing things ahead for my classmates and I. I'm looking forward to traveling, having a career I'm passionate about, getting married, and having kids. You can't do those things in high school, although I know that high school has prepared me tremendously for the rest of my life.

It basically all boils down to one simple thing: I don't want to leave the people.

I mean, these are the girls that I've complained about AP Chemistry with. The girls where "What did we read last night in APUSH?" was asked everyday junior year. The girls who complained about our AP English Anthology Essay, but then felt extremely proud of ourselves when we did well on them. These are the girls who had nothing but kind things to say to me everyday. The girls who have encouraged me to pursue baking. The girls who made me laugh every single class. These are the girls I've come to know and love, and they are the reason I'm sad to see high school go.

My friend Danielle and I were talking about how we are going to miss being able to just chat, tell stories, and share life's moments together. There have been countless times where I've had a story or something funny to tell a friend in school, but I won't have those opportunities anymore.

I know I've said it before, but I know without a shadow of a doubt that I went to the best high school for me. Thinking back on it, I am filled with nothing but sweet and wonderful memories. I was able to go to school with girls who accepted me for who I am. For being in an all girls school, I experienced very little drama.

Life has just been so good to me these past 4 years, especially my senior year.

Although things have changed a lot as well. Friends came and went. Family dynamics changed. But I couldn't be happier with the way things turned out.

I had great Freshman, Sophomore, Junior, and Senior years.

I went on some fabulous vacations to Mexico Beach, Washington DC, Jamaica, Grand Cayman, Haiti, Mexico, New York, Gatlinburg, Destin, and Chicago.

I also learned over the past 4 years that life doesn't go the way we plan, but it still turns out perfect. I like the quote from Marley and Me that says "No. No, it wasn't part of the plan. But it's so much better. I'm just sort of done making plans."

I never planned to get the babysitting job I did. It literally just fell into my lap and turned out to be something I'm so grateful for.

I never planned to make the friends I did, but they turned out to be the friends I needed.

I never planned to get my UC job (again, it just fell into my lap), but I did.

I know that if I was in charge of planning my life, things would have been so different these past 4 years. But honestly, I couldn't be happier with the way things turned out despite all of the unexpected and unplanned things over the years.

As I look back over my high school experience, I am so overwhelmed with how blessed I have been. My heart feels so full. The words "I am unbelievably thankful" don't even begin to describe the emotion. The tears I will shed tonight will be ones of overwhelming gratefulness.

This is a poem that was read to us on our Senior Day of Reflection, and I think it does a good job of summing up the feelings that accompany tonight.

Roots and wings
I yearn for most of all.
My longing to stay, my longing to go
Come wrapped in the same package.
I struggle.
It is very much the same
When we fall into each other's lives.
Our roots say:
Stay! Set up your tent!
Be at home here!
Our wings say:
Continue your journey!
Don't get root bound!
Keep dreaming of something beyond!
When you love someone, you have to let them go.
It's the only way to keep them.
Weaving in and out of lives,
I've come to know the letting go
As the surrender in that war
Between my roots and wings.
It is blessing! It is grace!
It is victory! It is pain!
I live now,
not I but you.
All of you live on in me.

So although I am sad that tonight marks the end of my high school career, I know that so many good things await my classmates and I in the future. I couldn't try to plan it if I wanted to, but this Pinterest quote I saw recently states exactly what I hope to get out of the rest of my life, and I hope my Seton classmates get the same!

May 30, 2013. One of those nights I'll remember always.

Congratulations Seton Class of 2013!

1 comment:

Joan Caruso said...

Congrats Allison!! This is the beginning of an exciting adventure for you!! Love and live every moment of it!! Love, Aunt Joan